Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but it can be a problem if you find it difficult to keep under control. “You can control your anger, and you have the responsibility to do so,” says clinical psychologist Isabel Clarke, a specialist in anger management.
I have realized that losing your temper is a sign of weakness. When I was a kid, if I lost my temper other kids were afraid. So with me losing my temper came extra power. As I got older (16 or so) I realized that this isn’t cool. It isn’t strength; it is really weakness.
It’s important to recognize your anger indicators; are you clinching your fists, raising your voice, breathing heavy, flaring your nostrils, shaking your head? Once you see those things, detach from them and look at it as a weakness.
In our Cubs class we tell the students, “Whenever I get angry I have to take 10 deep breathes and slowly count to 10.” If that is what it takes to detach from the moment to get yourself together, then do it. To get through that moment I like to nod my head in a slow and affirmative motion while I am thinking of how I can solve the problem.
Anger can cause many other problems in your life. My neighbor got into an argument with his fiancée in which she left. It was a way for her to detach; however, he continued his rage on the house. I must also add that alcohol and drugs are not great supporters in controlling anger. As his rage continued, she called the police as he made threats to end his life if she didn’t return.
Police investigated as he was trashing his house and busting out windows. The police left and he continued his assault on the house. He then decided to burn her clothing which set off the smoke detector which alerted her to call 911. Four fire trucks appeared on our street. The arson inspector was there along with the same officers from before.
This neighbor is also a member of our Armed Forces so not only is he in trouble with civil authorities, but he now has a problem with the military chain of command. I had tried to get him to pause and think about the situation twice, but again the drinking played a major factor.
I don’t see how anger can help in achieving what you want to get done. It clouds your mind’s ability to think clearly and come up with compromising solutions. Martial arts will help with the self-control aspect. Once you know how to control your mind, then the body will follow.
At Virginia TaeKwonDo in Chesapeake, we teach more than martial arts. We teach students how to handle themselves in various life situations. If you are interested in signing up for classes, give us a call at 757-558-9869 or contact us.